So that's why you wanted a bear hug from me... XD
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I love these these two chapters!! :D
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Unfortunately for you though a bear's fur never extends the warmth of its butthole.
Well thank you for giving me this much content^^
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Jo!
Greetings from Chinatown where the Moonglade Lunar festival is taking place at the moment.
I think that expression suits that place quite well judging from how they sell these neat looking yet practically useless pieces of armor which give almost no protection.
And let's not forget they cost almost nothing... 5 coins eh? These things are freakin everywhere!
No complains here though - you get what you pay for...
Enough with the sociocritical comments, let's get this show on the road!
{The adventures of Tengelmann - Chapter 11}
I just love seeing new faces when I do my job as a part time lone wolf slacking globe trotter.
This fine lady over here surprised me in Dalaran by lurking at my character's empty shell while I was afk for a short time.
I'd love to introduce you to a further companion of the Adventures of Tengelmann - Venazya.
Venazya was about to show me places I've never been to - gone sexual ;)
... meh just kidding.
Anyway so she turned out to be a friend of my dear pal Estus who told her to check this blog out.
I will hand out some $ if you manage to get this viral some day buddy.
I have never been to Netherstorm before thus we decided to head there immediately.
That might sound like a simple field trip at first but that place is actually as interesting as it can get!
I am deeply sorry for not paying attention while making this screenshot. My horse's butt was not supposed to be the center of attention...
I suppose this is just what Nightcore does to people.
Spoiler:Show
So before heading to Netherstorm we had to get across the Blade's Edge Mountains.
Now for some reason Venazya thought that this would be the perfect place to do some sight seeing.
So there we go.
What would be the most attractive scenery you could think of?
An impaled Dragon huh?
That's just brutaly romantic there lady.
What else you got to show me?
Un - fukcing - believable!
Just when I had stopped thinking about Stonehenge, we see the mighty weirdest version there is...
What is the dragon skull doing there?
What's the purpose of all that?!
Thankfully there's a more pleasant place in Netherstorm - the so called "Domes"
Who would've thought that a place like this could be found in a place that's called "Netherstorm"
Since I am already 21 years old, I might be a little old school on that but you know what kind of place comes to my mind when I first heard of a name like NETHER-STORM?
Spoiler:Show
No complaints though.
What could be more enjoyable than walking through a beautiful scenery along with a kind lady?Edited: February 6, 2016
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I swear I wasn't stalking you XD
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Buenas!
Greetings from Orgrimmar where fishing in a barely one foot deep pond is to be enjoyed together with mad voodoo practicioners and armed green skinned versions of the typical highschool football player that goes enrage with wet towels inside the locker room.
A friend of mine who happens to be a full-time fisher once told me that fishing is actually a thing of relaxation.
Ironically though I once went on a boat with him and he listened to some damn loud Death Metal tracks which one could've heard on the other side of the lake regardless of his plugged in head phones. That's how you relax man?
Whatever - It's time for you now to relax and hear me out.
{The adventures of Tengelmann - Chapter 12}
You know what's the coolest thing about presents?
The sheer fact that you don't know what's inside. Sometimes you just don't want to open them because of their spectacular looks and also because the tension is almost better than what's inside.
"Oh boy! A present! WANT!"
Then you go all like...
"Wha- Wha- What is this sh*t?! Give me back my present paper!"
Well you see the same thing goes for letters.
A few weeks ago my dear pal Estus wrote me a letter which had a present inside
Of course I was gonna go all excited about it!
The present was not a mess though. Au contraire! - My pal knew exactly what his fella Tengel wants.
Ain't that right buddy?
So basically he wrote this...
I repeat...
don't drink this in Northrend
don't drink this
don't drink
don't
DON'T
...
Seriously you can't just tell people NOT to do something - I mean you're pretty much always going to provoke the opposite.
To be exact Estus told me afterwards not to wander too far away from Dalaran if I decided to have a drink in Northrend.
Logically I immediately thought of a place far away from Dalaran - preferably somewhere where no one can hear me scream.
Perfect!
So now all I had to do is to go towards the top of the mount which unfortunately was guarded pretty well...
But after testing my patience yet once again I eventually managed to get to the top, only to find out that there was only even more death to find.
There goes the drink...
and there goes I...
I suppose this grey cloud which came after the first sip was supposed to harm me but since I was getting a beat down at the same time, I don't think that mattered too much.
A present's wrapper is often all you want.Edited: February 17, 2016
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Yet I felt a shifty presence giving me a cold look, staring into my very soul o_o
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Salam aleikum people!
Greetings from Hellfire Peninsula where no one seems to have thought about clearing the sanitary facilities from corpses.
The very idea!
If only this were just a regular corpse but instead this is a withered skeleton we're seeing here! Come on now, show some class!
Maybe you guys haven't noticed but theres neither trees nor bushes around so you best keep these areas clean...
Enough with the scolding. Here goes.
{The adventures of Tengelmann - Chapter 13}
Hillsbrad Foothills is propably one of the most ganked places in the history of warcraft. It's safe to say that the amount of low level characters killed in this zone could easily match up with what's going on in Stranglethornvale.
Of course it was none of my interest to hunt lowies with my lvl 37 undergeared holy Paladin, but I chose to have a nice meeting with the other fraction instead.
You really went a lil far with the lipstick, Rhyod...
So thanks to the Valentines event I was able to get some requisite to bring up the mood for a nice get together.
At first I thought that just the three of us would be spending time on the fields camping and stuff.
Turns out that people's curiosity didn't leave it like that.
huh... who would've guessed that this would turn out to be so welcomened?
I see a lot of people complaining about gankers in general chats everywhere which resolves in people getting their 80s over to do a lil beef.
Yet the solution to this problem is a lot simpler as you can see.
But of course, a virtual get together of that size was bound to get awkward every once in a while.
Now, I remember people asking me if I were a gnomosexual some time ago and seeing as how these bestiality pictures with Hernest and Venazya are piling up, I should clarify that this is also just a coincidence.
See? That lady is just asking for it!
You might just ask yourself how one enjoys a peaceful get together of the sort if you cannot communicate that easily.
...well you don't.
We ended up fighting and killing each other...
damnit Rhyod...
What else?
The same thing over n over again.
A massacre festival like that has it's traditional ending though.
We all gathered around the campfire and had a traditional medieval hardcore rave dance party.
I would make fun of things like summoning rain on the occasion but IT IS ALWAYS RAINING on this server!
If there's an admin out there who reads this, please hear my humble request to turn it down a notch!
You're not fooling anyone Estus...
Spoiler:Show Edited: February 23, 2016
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Just because I'm an undead gnome with goth-y appearance, doesn't mean I dance like a goth...
...
ADORE MEH! *dances*
Also, sorry for Vena and the Horde 20-30s I accidentally killed. I swear I just wanna taunt the void, but I was like :
So, yeah. Metsi's taunt was on alt+3, so I was so used to alt+3 now that I forgot Dark Command is alt+2"okay, let me try taunting that Voidwalker"
*press alt + 3*
*Howling Blast, triple Horde kill*
"OOOOOOHSORRYSORRYSORRY"
-5 minutes later...-
"Okay... let me try aga-" *alt+3* "OMGOMGOMG" *drags Icy/Blast macro away*
Spoiler:Show Edited: February 23, 2016
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This is some next level autism
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So you commit to being responsible for all deaths that happened to both your foes and allys during a peaceful meeting?
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Grüssgott beinand!
Greetings from Ironforge where a fashionable man can get any woman to shake her butt towards the camera for a music video.
It was actually this woman who also crafted this Tuxedo Suit for me while not having anything else to show herself besides her teenage skin - for that I owe her a thank you.
And just so you know, there is no music video.
I actually managed to get this part wrapped up for once. Alright - on we go!
{The adventures of Tengelmann - Chapter 14}
You guys remember Hernest?
The Tauren that was about the size of your mother? (Ohhhhhhhhh get rekt son!)
Well these size shifting experiments were bound to take another step later on.
This time though, lady Venazya didn't focus on getting all that big...
Forgot your contact lenses?
Don't worry, I got you covered.
I just want to remind you people that this little thing over here is a nightelf - the biggest alliance race there is in Wotlk.
Imagine Estus being influenced by these effects.
Let's do some research on this - first we need something to compare the size with.
You thought I would use Estus for this right? Nope this time he's too big.
Thank God you're pretty, Estus.
The bottle is slightly bigger than Venazya.
Let's take a further look.
She actually fits inside a mug....
jeez, look at this!
She's barely even the size of this turkey...
once again, look at this!
Spoiler:Show
Now next to that little kitty being adorable, she's also a lot more authentic than any of these Elwynn cats.
Are you jeallous lady Healsonheels?
Once again I call upon the mighty admins: please unbann her on the forum - she's a fun person after all ;)
....but fix the rain issue first ;<
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This little fairy in a mug is fantastic!
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Holy damn it's been a while!
Welcome to my good & dear home Dalaran where the Great Wall of America is being built.
I'm not entirely sure what it is people want to be kept out of Dalaran seeing as how everyone involved in building this wall is nothing but an immigrant.
Then again I can't recall a situation in which modern politics made perfectly sense.
As I do not want this post to become a Hillary vs Trump debate, I will move on to the next chapter.
{The adventures of Tengelmann - Season 2 / Chapter 1}
You know how Azeroth has many of these places where plenty of buildings are placed which normally only seem reachable while flying?
Well reaching these places was about any little boy's dream back at vanilla.
I remember being about 12 years old at the time and even though I paid these 13 Euros each month - which is a lot for a lad's pocket money that was already heavily damaged due to Yu Gi Oh cards - I didn't give two shiets about leveling and tried to reach the top of these mountains day by day instead.
Without any success that is.
Finally after all these (~9) years, my dear friend Venezya showed me how to reach the mythical peaks.
... I so hope that is not the actual name for an ingame mountain...
ah yes... it is as if the map is trying to mock you. showing this large, obvious landscape yet it's not showing you how to get there.
Now even if you do manage to find the path that takes you to the said place, there's still a possibility that you might get lost in the mountains of sheer void.
How I managed to get through there you ask?
Well Ven did get the idea to actually google that stuff. I really have no idea why I didn't come up with this.
It was at exactly that time when my brain cells comidetd suizite aut uf puhre shaemmmmm.e....................................... ................
...here goes nothing.
So after passing mount white-texture-eye-cancer we managed to successfuly arrive at the location we were aiming for.
I was told that this place was supposed to be a starting zone for Gnomes. Apparently there even was a perfectly functional flight master back in vanilla.
This seems pretty familiar doesn't it?
Now did this place live up to the expectations I had back when i was a child?
I can't really tell to be honest.
It's like the night when one has intercourse for the first time.
It somehow does satisfy you - mostly because you can brag about it - and it also doesn't at the very same time.
You know what I mean?
lol you probably don't.
This expedition went downhill pretty quickly....
We went forward to some "unreachable" place in Loch Modan where the buildings where equally inaccessible because of some rocks which blocked each and every entrance.
The ground though didn't get it's job done.
Oh well it's time for me to move onward then.
Next up in my childhood dream list is a full time job as a pirate.
Holy shiet was I stupid....Edited: April 29, 2016
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Ciao Bella!
Welcome to Ironforge where I found this lovely picture of a classy lady, inside some random abandoned house.
This reminds me of one of my houses back in The Sims 2.
I remember having my whole bedroom filled with pictures of women with whom I cheated my ingame wife on.
Ironically she detested that room as if the AI knew what was going on.
Now before I destroy my gentleman's image, we should move on to the next chapter.
{The adventures of Tengelmann - Season 2 / Chapter 2}
So today I met someone who refers herself as "the greatest gnome in the world" or something like that.
As much as I would like to give this title to either Estus or Pinkytails, I think I will just roll with it for now.
The dear little Gnome is on the hunt for fame and wealth yet nobody seems to have heard of her, thus I figured this lady deserves to be mentioned in this thread.
Introducing Salfettie!
You know what makes me so sure about Salfettie being a lady?
That's the Tl,dr version.
My very first article was about spotting catfish (-s?) (-es?) so I'm pretty confident in my skills.
You see - as soon as i accepted to make her famous, she immediately suggested to strip down her character all by herself.
This kind of behaviour is more natural to women than it is to men, if I interpret these "anatomy" videos the internet is famous for correctly.
I think that is quite a hand full for Gnomes.
Unfortunately she was more into Estus, who frankly has not had that much interest.
But little did we know Estus was also gonna have a good time this day aswell.
This though is far from what i call amusing but I'm just gonna let him be.
I find this creative.
But as I am used to situations like these not being awkward enough as they already are, there was bound to be a lot more people involved who just pop up out of friggin nowhere.
Good thing is I finally got to recruit my guild's first official member, congrats Xkenpachi.
...Yeah I totally forgot to mention this guild the whole time.
It's "abnormal adventurer"... hit me up.
It's times like these in which i wish for Healsonheels to be here, so she leaves one of fer comments that include the same rethorical elements of hieroglyphics in a chinese Email conversation.Edited: May 6, 2016
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