1. I need help

    I don't know if this is an appropriate place for this kind of post, but I have been sitting with these feelings for a long time and not sure where to ask for help. I consider warmane as a home considering I've spent years playing here.

    I am early 30s, and I struggle with socializing, specifically making friends and especially with girls. I have never had a girlfriend in my life, have never even been near having one. Just literally 0 attraction from any girls in my entire life. To put it bluntly - no one likes me.
    Started going to the gym in hope that it'll change something, after 2 years of being consistent and putting hard work I have decent results, but it hasn't changed anything in the socializing/dating aspect. I am by all means not ugly, I dress well, some people were even surprised that I never had a girlfriend.

    I have asked multiple friends but all of their advice was extremely surface level, something like "just go out, just be confident, just talk to people, just find hobbies". I am not stupid, I know that I need to talk to people and to be out. But I don't know what to talk about, there is literally nothing (positive) on my mind for years. I don't know where to go to meet people, I live in a small town, I don't have friends who go to places to take me with them. Every time I go to some bigger events like concerts or a club I always feel isolated and lonelier than usual. I just don't fit anywhere, I dont know how to start conversations with people, I dont know what to talk about... So I just always sit alone on the side, and one has ever talked to me. Or I'd start a small talk with someone and it doesn't go anywhere, dies after few minutes.
    Is the gym not a hobby? Is playing video games not a hobby? Don't feel interested in anything else to pick up as a hobby. I don't think I am too different from all the other guys playing WOW on this server, but yet 99% of them have no problem getting friends and girls, some even date girls from the server. Meanwhile I haven't even made a single conversation with a girl. Not because I don't want to, I simply don't know how. My conversations are like question-answer. Do you wanna play today, do you guys need something for raid, can you give me tips on playing this class... Etc. Thats how my interaction with people looks like. I can't think of anything else to talk about.

    I only have like 3-4 irl friends, and I am not close to any of them. They have their own friend circles and spend time there, if I am lucky they call me once every 2 months.
    Used to go online to omegle to meet people, to try and practice. Never had a positive outcome. Always ended up ignored. Tinder isn't a thing here, tried and basically 0 matches in 100 km radius.
    Living like this for YEARS, I have become perpetually mad, angry, bitter, frustrated, feeling abosolutly worthless, hopeless. I just don't know what to do.

    I live in a poor east European country so therapy isn't even an option. And I simply cannot afford 100$ per session for online therapy with my lame 300$ monthly income.
    If anyone has any practical advice, or can point me to any source I can get help from, I'd be very thankful.

  2. i think u just havent found your people yet. i'd say dont rely on socializing online by itself, i mean sure u can expand your social network online, but to get the actual social comfort u need the social intimacy with people and thats not achievable via online. it is really challenging specially for introverts but u'll get there eventually.
    i dont know much about european or western women in general, but u'd be surprised that there are tons of asian women are into caucasian men regardless their looks or money as long as u're not an ahole. so yeah u might consider being passport bro
    or u can just focus on your self development, own cats, idk. nothing wrong being a self loving person.

  3. Aren't there therapists in your area that charge an amount more appropriate to your income?

    Not that I think therapy is appropriate - the kind of help you need is most likely chemical.

  4. 4 Weeks Ago  
    You are not alone, civilization is under a crysis and it reflects in many aspects of life.

    I recommend three things:
    1. Some things are ritualistic, like starting conversations. Watch old filmes and see how these rehearsed pieces of sentences work. Listen to old music, for example I knew the concept of "the policy of the cheap guilt" from a metal band. (=Cheap guilt is blaming someone innocent because it makes the group feel better and save face)
    2. Read books. I personally benefited from the A Song of Ice and Fire books. Some aspects of interactions among humans are timeless

    3. The best piece of advice ever, go to the YouTube channel hoe_math and binge his videos. From there you might go to podcasts of people that deal with exactly you are living (Michael Sartain, the whatever podcast, etc).

  5. 3 Weeks Ago  
    This is not an easy topic my friend. I went until I was 21 before I ever had what I would consider a real girlfriend, then after her, I went another 11 years without one. I found the girl I love now through the church that I attend. If you are not of any religion, you may have to spend a week out of town for speed dating or dating apps. Let the girls know that you are not serious, that you are practicing your social skills. Tell them upfront that the only reason you are there is for real life experience in social situations. Ask questions like "what are some fun hobbies that I could do with others?" Lead with something like "I am not looking for a date, I am hoping to find a friend that can help me with my social skills." Go in loaded with at least 4 topics that you can talk about. It sounds corny, but never talk about something that you don't actually like. My gf finds it cute when I tell her about this awesome book I read, even though she does not care about the genre of books that I'm into. Also, I had a friend that met his wife by just practicing "dating" in order to build character.

    Btw, I completely understand where you are coming from. When I am around anyone that I am not 100% comfortable with, I never know what to say.

  6. 3 Weeks Ago  
    Read the bible. feeling empty, out of place, not belonging to any place is normal for any decent human being

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