My girlfriend and I have been together for a while now, and in recent months she's become pretty comfortable calling me certain things in private.
I myself have an extremely diverse ethnic background, though I most notably have negro heritage, as well as caucasian heritage. Looking at me on the street though, you'd think I was biracial, as my negro and caucasian heritage is prominent. My girlfriend, however, is as caucasian as can be, with pale skin, bright blue eyes, and long brown hair.
All of that aside, when my girlfriend and I are alone or around the house, she enjoys calling me things like "half-breed," "mutt," "halfrican," and of course, "******."
I really enjoy it, but I don't know why, and I'm not sure anyone else in my situation would, which is why I'm typing this up.
When we make love, she gets even worse and says things like, "...you don't deserve this white *****..." and "...you better not nut inside me, ******; I'm not trying to have any jigaboo babies." From what I can tell, she enjoys it as much as I do, especially when I call her a "race traitor" or a "chocolate-dipper."
We love each other, but I'm just not sure I should be enjoying this as much as I am. I really enjoy the fact that she puts me down the way she does, but I feel like the only reason I enjoy it so much is because a small part of me genuinely believes every word she says.
When I look at my girlfriend, I feel like I did very well for myself, not just because she's gorgeous and this and that... but because she's "white."
I've always been more attracted to "white" women, but when I say that aloud, I feel ashamed. I'm a pretty attractive guy, and I've never really had any self-esteem issues, but this is one topic that really embarrasses me. I feel like I have some sort of complex.
Is my situation normal? Am I normal, or am I some kind of self-hating racist?
I don't doubt that this post might provoke some interesting comments, so I'll be sure to reply to intelligent and thoughtful ones.
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Member
Is there something wrong with me, guys?
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Member
You're a masochist, she's a sadist. You're fine :x
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Forum Veteran
This is one of the weirdest posts I have ever read while creeping on these forums. Good for you.
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Member
Yep. I too think you're fine. I don't think if you were a self-racist you'd be asking for help... Good job on that :P
Anyway, what I would do is, ask someone you trust (closest friend or someone like that) and tell them to say those things to you, and see how you feel by another person saying them (not your girlfriend). If you do feel bad about it, you're clearly too focused on her being gorgeous, and not really care about what she says.
That's what I would do. Good luck!Edited: August 1, 2015
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Member
You're fine, mate. As Davelan said, you're a masochist, she is a sadist. You aren't a self-hating racist, you two just have a fetish. We all have one (or more) thing that turns us on. Sexy-time is a personal thing, and you've found what makes it fun for you and your partner. Good for you.
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Member
Um... So I can't say that I share your preferences but to answer your question, no there isn't something wrong with you. However, I would suggest that you two talk about it, to establish some boundaries (a baseline) and get on the same page. Once again, a person's preference is their own preference, no one can say, "there's something wrong with you".
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Member
Thanks for the replies, guys!
Our relationship is definitely stable, then. I feel relief.
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Member
You're welcome - CS da luv guru.
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Member
And I'm out..
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Member
You are one ****ed up dude.
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Member
wow am i the only one who felt like ....... she is into just coz you got a big faking rod !!! she is a racist bro !!! how can a lover call you black and gigaloo or whatever babies !! i dont think its funny !!
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Wind of Northrend
Wow.... /ff if u cant bare with it anylonger
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Banned
This topic should be washed up with bleach. My eyes bled so much, I just threw up.
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Member
why did you necro this....from 2 years ago...
You the one whose ****ed lol
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