Good evening dear readers,
feel welcomed here at the Dalaran Guild Master's place.
Now, I don't know how you feel about this guild symbol but I wonder how no one seems to find this inappropriate somehow.
Don't get me wrong, I'm no hypocrite, but you know... a bomb tied around the chest...
Let's head on before we lose the subject.
{The adventures of Tengelmann - Chapter 4}
So after going through that experience in Goldshire I felt like wandering far off to the exact counterpart of what I had seen that day.
The starting location of Trolls/Orcs was the most suitable place i could think of - this is also where traumatised skull knight chicken was summoned in the previous chapter.
As I went to the desired destination I soon discovered that my presence was anything but welcome there.
This reminds me of elementary school.
These randoms dared to challenge me even though I am far more powerful than they are.
Did they think that I would show any mercy? You see I can't recall being shown mercy when I was cruising through Northrend even though I was much weaker than my opponents.
I'll have you know that I made my point very clear each and every time a confrontation was about to arise:
well...
Damn you fifth graders!
My vengeance was terrifying...
I didn't even have to touch them. A single move was enough to take their breath away.
There was not even any kind of weapon needed.
They lined up horizontaly like chicken waiting to be slaughtered - (nothing for ungood @traumatised skull knight chicken.)
...
These punks just couldn't handle the rhythm, flow ,swag or whatever you want to call it, stationed in these glorious hips.
(Now don't feel alarmed if your undies turned into a moist towelette.)
They didn't call me "Michael Jackson" for nothing in elementary school ;)
Immediately I sucked them into "the groove" - a mighty pit of barely mediocre teenage club house disco mixtape music.
Trying to escape from this prison was of no use for multiple seconds. (five as I recall)
From this day on, I shall be called E.T.C. - Elite Tengelmann Chieftain!
Your time is over man! Someone needs to get this troll off the stage.
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Member
Edited: January 12, 2016
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Member
I had fun reading this blog :)
Keep the good work up!
I hope to meet you in Azeroth some day - after i'm done logging in...
Offtopic: Is the last picture taken from the internet or do you really play HotS? Because if you do play it, we should totally group up and play together ;)
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Member
Just add him as friend in Lordaeron, we had an adventure together yesterday.... that is, until the internet and realm problem disagrees with me (1500 queue waiting and done, suddenly auto disconnect. wtf)
Sorry for leaving ye in the middle of Grizzly Hills, Teng :(
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Member
It's ok bro, I've had far worse experiences than standing in the middle of an octagon consisting of oversized mutant bears.^^
Plus I had fun the time it lasted. ;)
Anytime, anywhere good sir. These chapters need content after all.^^
And yes I do play Heroes of the Storm here and then.
How about it? Let's do some games tonight ;)
I give you that, I don't value shadowmourne aswell and that Elwynn Sheep is priceless, however I will take you by your word and negotiate with you whilst whispering in your ear.
I now know who to look out for after all.
I do my homework erryday.
By the way I'm no stalker, lady. Experience has shown that it's best to clarify this from the start.Edited: January 12, 2016
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Member
Howdy partners!
Greetings from the Borean Tundra - the place where basically everyone is allowed to fly a plane.
Also #manspreading is still tolerated in these parts of the globe.
You jelly, people of New York?
No offense though - I too miss these times when we were still allowed to undeploy our canons without limitation to the point where we exceeded the boundaries of existence.
Now, before I scare away my female readers I shall initiate the next chapter.
{The adventures of Tengelmann - Chapter 5}
Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Orgrimmar
In dragonblight the challenge was faced
On the dragon ice desert was where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
And all shootin some rabbits without any tool
When a couple of bears who were up to no good
Started making trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one little fight and my pal got scared
He said 'You're comin with me to the Grizzly Hill there'
I whistled for a cab and when it came near
There was just a gnome on top of a mare
If anything I could say that this cab was rare
But I thought 'Nah, forget it' - 'Yo, homes to Grizzly Hill there'
I pulled up to the hills until the 7th or 8th dc
And I yelled to my homie 'Yo homes smell ya later'
Then I looked at my kingdom
I was suddenly there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Orgrimmar
Thanks a lot @Handepsilon / Estus for the 30 gold and one level I made while questing and hanging with you ;)
This will get me loads of Don Carlos Tequila and I am also one step closer to buy some of Healsonheels' Incredibly expensice auctions.
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Member
You missed the part where I used the power of necromancy to bring you back to life cuz some geists *****slapped you in Dragonblight :p
Also, I don't even know how you managed to get to Thrall's seat (lol)
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Member
I had to laugh so hard reading your story, can't wait for the next chapter. I fully understand how you were looking for a change to questing and pvping... it's so boring after a while.
Funny how you named your character after a german supermarket chain :D
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Member
Yeah I didn't get any screenshots from that part since I accidently hit the "explode" ability which has this negative side effect of causing a lethal explosion :/
Also getting to Thrall was merely a matter of a few dozen deaths...
Oh you're making me blush. ;)
Haha yes, it's the one I got fired from a few years ago when I still went to school because I was singing and dancing a bit too much around the aisles. xD
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Member
Welcome everyone!
Greetings from the Sholazar Basin. Here we have a classic situation of a man being traped on an island that's surrounded with hydras. Sadly I neither had any Excalibur like weaponry with me nor did I have any demigod like Hercules powers (yet).
All I had was the riddle to the right that only a smartass matematician could solve.
As you can imagine I chose death over wasting my time with anything math related and since that's that, we can move on to the next chapter.
{The adventures of Tengelmann - Chapter 6}
This story takes us to Zul Drak where many people I seeked were to be found that day.
Zul Drak is without kidding the safest place to hang in Northrend because of the bright and mostly mob free infrastructure which leads to basically all the important places you want to get to.
In theory that is...
...
It's all good though - he left me alive ;)
However the danger was not over after having met sir "Allyraper".
The first allied person I met was my good ol' pal "Handepsilon" or "Estus" who by the way does a great job on tanking dozens of mobs coming from ridiculously large distances to break my limbs in one shot. Of course I felt safe around him but the Horde was a little more active than usual that day.
But as we are both quite patient, we took it all a little easier than we would normaly do - waiting for the Horde to finish so we could do our job afterwards.
well...
...
It's all good though - they left us alive ;)
I don't know how you allys feel about it but I'm all cool with the Hordies.
Sure there are some (most of them) who take the opportunity to take turns on killing me whenever they feel like it but who am I to judge?
Maybe these are some fine people who do voluntary work at their local orphanage. :)
I mean all I ever did was leaving pennys in the McDonalds donation box whenever I got myself cheeseburgers - y' know what I'm sayin?
Also it is boring without them around isn't it?Edited: January 18, 2016
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Member
Well, they kept us alive.... in the end at least. They don't appreciate me trying to quest there even though I'm most of the time trying to keep the good paladin alive because some trolls just keep tossing spears at him when he appeared.
And even as we ended up making campfire while enjoying Tengel's good ol' Don Carlos Tequila, they don't seem to appreciate our existence there
/shrug
The only aggression I made was when one of them pawed on Tengel (lol). My instinct told me to death grip the aggresor away. We ended up both dead though, as I'm pvping less than half-heartedly and we're vastly outnumbered and outlevelled :p
2 of the hordes we met that day still tries to kill me in Sholazar later.
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Member
Patience mister.
Believe me when I say that dying is something to get easily used to.
By the way I need to thank you once again Estus.
What would a part time lone wolf be without his part time companion? ;)
Also don't be surprised if I happen to be a lil silent from time to time - it's because i'm fiercly concentrating on staying alive.^^Edited: January 19, 2016
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Member
Peace errybody!
Greetings from Nagrand where it doesn't take you weeks of reputation farming to get on the back of a nostalgious netherwing drake.
I trury rack disciprine when it comes down to farming gold, reputation or anything of the sort.
I once tried to get one of these Winterspring tiger mounts but after merely two days that was to be considered a thing of the past.
Guess how long it took me to deny the fact that I was totally into these fancy choppers.
This is not what we came here for though, so let's keep going.
{The adventures of Tengelmann - Chapter 7}
As mentioned in the previous chapter, there were more people to get in contact with in Zul Drak that day.
I haven't mentioned the person this chapter is featuring, in my previous articles which is because I'm not holding the timeline correctly.
Ladys and Gentlemen I proudly present to you: "Fuzzycandy"
I love it when they go AFK - those are the easiest ones to locate
So Fuzzycandy was nothing but a stranger to me when I first wrote her and by writing i literally mean writing - in form of a letter.
We met in Stormwind where we went past each other without saying a word.
Lucky for dear Fuzzycandy Christmas was over just a few days before and I felt the urge to send someone a present.
My intuition told me to elect her and just her...
and maybe some other ladys aswell... it's Christmas...!
I never got a reply from anyone though...
No matter - dear Fuzzycandy will surely show herself grateful when I pay her a visit!
Or so I thought...
I tracked her down in the Grizzly Hills - -
AAAAAAAAAnd there she goes backing off slowly after just a few kind words...
No worries - I'm a professional.
A few well put words and - -
- - there she goes running away...
she immediately went to the flight master in order to get to the other side of the Grizzly Hills.
Lady, I wear my heart on my sleeve you know - a simple thank you would have been enough. :/
As you can imagine, I couldn't let that slide.
Later in Zul Drak she suddenly started speaking spanish - pretending not to understand a word of what I was saying. (Or so I believe)
Too bad my dominican mother teached me everything about the art of Spanish when I was just a little lad, thus that plan backfired.
This man posesses many skills girl...
By the way I was asked if I have an obsession with female gnomes.
No. No I don't. These are indeed all coincidences so far. ;)Edited: January 23, 2016
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Member
great story, nice roleplayer, i'll give it a perfect score, 5/7, would read again
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Banned
Make a level 1 character and whisper me. I want you to join our guild with that character and take a look at our guild vault.
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Member
O hey, another gnome with ponytail, a warrior too!
And that letter... lemme guess, was it a draenei? :p
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