Hi there!
I am Tengelmann, a level 33 Paladin playing in Lordaeron and this is me waving at the camera in Northrend - Storm Peaks, greeting my fella readers.
Thanks to the warlock btw for getting me a portal to Dalaraan - forgot his name though...
After leveling a character to level 80 at a new server for the quadri****tilion time I thought it would be time for a change.
In the following I will post a blog of my doings which were neither pve nor pvp related - hell I got bored of doing quests aswell.
What I show you is the adventure of not giving a damn about level restricted areas, thus getting to see the world.... of warcraft... AAAND also getting in touch with the player base. amongst 10.000 people online there surely is someone interesting to find - maybe even a fine lady. ;)
Enough with the introduction let's get moving.
{The adventures of Tengelmann - Chapter 1}
I was easily distracted from questing from the beginning.
For example here we have a conversation between me and dear Pinkytails
Yes I'm free of AIDS.
Little Pinkytails is a perfect example for someone who is easy to get in contact with... which i did not do after said meeting... I should greet her one of these days - she is already level 80 by now - ...how time pases...
I got in touch with her by using one of my makros which were made for urgent situations such as hasty streets as they can be seen in Stormwind.
Typing a message can cost you way too much time.
The makro basically reads " my my - aint you a cutie ;) "
*translation of emotes:
"you whistle at Pinkytails"
"Pinkytails sends you a kiss"
"You bow before Pinkytails"
"Pinkytails takes a look at you and blushes"
And it's on!
Now, I know what you're thinking:
Congratulations, you most likely got yourself into a flirt with a guy.
Well here's the deal:
There is a lot of trial & error you will have to face when looking for the prettier gender but there are some indicators and rhetorical/ verbal strategys which aid to get to the truth.
The name is our first indicator.
My theory is that most ladys don't tend to names like "Ikillulol" whereas gentlemen don't tend to name themselves... well... "Pinkytails". (Shame on you if else is to be the case)
Step two: Tell them that you are bisexual.
Some women fence off good gentlemen way too soon by pretending to be of male gender.
Don't let it come to this by telling them that you could go both ways as soon as possible. Sounds a little awkward when out of context but it's rather interesting than boring to the one you converse with.
Step three: don't call them by their names while conversing - call them "lady"
Most men react rather fast on this saying that they are no lady - rollplayers might not though
This works fine for me at least.
All of the above is not the true beginning of the adventure whose stories are yet to come on this blog but a simple example of how I pretty much just for fun like to get in touch the female player base.
Giggity
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Member
Making an abnormal adventure out of WoW
Edited: January 11, 2016
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Member
Ya, I reacted the second time we met, in Hellfire Peninsula.
Those Warhorse maneuvers against those boars still got me wondering if you're a paladin or a rogue :p
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Member
No matter my friend - I appreciate bromance adventures, no homo, about just as much as the ability to spawn children. ;)
Well I literally can't afford to to damage my armour at this point which is why I fall in some sort of deep adrenaline rush and a state of concentration - that would have been a lot of help back in school where I used to fall asleep on top of my exams... - when I approach an enemy at that high level.
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Member
Hey there folks!
Greetings from somewhere near the Argent Tournament. I just wish I had known earlier that one could actually fly to that place for free.
And also that place is empty...
At least i got myself one of these incredibly weak yet huge lances that look kinda neat... which by the way are not equipable before level 77 :/
Moving on - we've got a chapter to cast our eyes on!
{The adventures of Tengelmann - Chapter 2}
It's only been one chapter and I'm already forced to break down the chronology.
As mentioned in the chapter before I thought about paying little Pinkytails a visit.
The thing about lvl 68-80 characters is that they like to hide in northrend which is of course a nice place to hang and stuff but there is one issue I doubt these people have when running through these damn mine fields of suicidal darwin award premium edition battle grounds with loads of elite mobs that carry a few dozen minions on each toe.
How could this happen to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
You see I was trying to surprise dear Pinkytails by showing up either on Dragonblight or Icecrown where /who told me to find her.
The picture above pretty much sums up how well that went.
The worst thing about it though is that for some reason I get disconnected from the server when I die in Icecrown which on Lordaeron means eternal damnation.
*translation
Lordaeron is full
Your position in que 1141
approximate wait time 431 minutes
well shiet...
no matter - as Tengelmann, facing the odds is my duty.
That means i eventually gave up and simply went to her when she was getting some materials from one of the local stores in Dalaraan - don't judge me!
In the end we had a nice little conversation with candle lights, live music and a fine plate of french cuisine.
But since there was none of the above I had to draw one of my secret weapons.
Don Carlos Tequila!
Ah yes little Pinkytails - the rainbow in the rain.
My quest is not over yet though.
There are still a lot of experiences to make and lands to discover!Edited: January 11, 2016
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Member
Hey this is cool! I hope we can meet in Dalaran
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Member
So this is a story about you stalking some poor gnome, and going as far as following him/her through whatever terrain you come across..
Hm..
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Member
It would be my pleasure. Feel free to whisper me anytime.
Well it took me a few weeks/months to actually show a friendly gesture to dear Pinkytails.
Stay tuned pal - you will understand soon enough.
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Member
Now I can't help but imagining how the Lich King is rolling on the floor laughing at your fate now
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Banned
Troll.
The title says 'abnormal adventure'.
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Member
good morning everyone!
A warm welcoming hello from the Echo Isles near the Orc/troll starting location in Durotar where I recently spawned the skull knight chicken which in the following chapter will escort me - the part time lone wolf - on a quest that was more or less requested by one of the commentators.
I have read various complains (1) about my journey not being abnormal which is why I had to make a little change in my plans for this chapter.
Let's not get too much into talking and get right to it.
{The adventures of Tengelmann - Chapter 3}
So in order to get to the hearts of my readers I had to make a step I would have loved to skip.
But you see a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do which in this case means paying a visit to the hands down weirdest place in the history of Warcraft.
What is this place you ask?
...
Goldshire
Now for the ones of you who are either newcomers or have never played as a member of the alliance before - Goldshire is the place to experience a simulation of what heavy sexual harrassment on the streets must feel like.
Kind of like entering a run down back alley in India with a side tie bikini at night.
"Lucky" for me I soon got envolved in one of the - for that place - stereotypical rituals
Oh dear...
Well fine
I now had to focus on fitting in which means playing along.
I was terrible.
They soon realized - thus I had to pass a test in order to become part of their System.
The challenge was to defeat a level 20 rogue in less than 10 seconds or else I would have to pay them with alcohol for each second of delay.
No matter - I'm an experienced WoW player and with a 14 level advantage and advanced human stealth detection - there was little to go wrong.
I'm also able to stun my opponent for 4 whole seconds and i could easily resist any crowd control.
The bad thing though is that I haven't used any of the abilitys mentioned before which resultet in a horrible disaster of multiple minutes of delay.
I ended up losing all of my Don Carlos Tequila that night which isn't a big deal I suppose... but you see my wallet is slowly but surely breaking apart from all of the Tequilas, rep costs and other random stuff I buy even though common sense tells me not to.
After having faced defeat, I returned back home to Dalaran where both me and traumatised skull knight chicken sat next to pet owner Reptyle who also was in bad shape that day.
*editor's note: @Healsonheels you should definitely reconsider putting grey and common items in the auction house at the price of 999gold - For one - I like to buy useless stuff for fun if it's affordable and - two - I doubt you will trigger any purchase decisions with these anytime soon.Edited: January 11, 2016
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Banned
Clown Porn with Roller Coaster Tycoon 1 Sountrack and Balloon Animal Dildo
Dude, you're rekting me hard... ****ing adding notes at the end, you know how much I like to hide my feelings about things and people, insta busted that I freaking read the whole stupid post wtf, and also the other weirdo that is sit next to you in Dalaran, with the pets in a bench, I was like doing my thing and I pass next to that place and I see this things shining, and I ****ing dismount and start clicking on them like if I could loot them, after 2 seconds I saw the stupid rope or whatever it's called and I saw that they were stupid pets and I was like AMG REKT myself...
Anyways... Uhm... Right now we have 2 whole tabs in guild bank absolutely full, no repeated stacks and there's very few repeated items, like 2 or 3 items in 1 stack, you know... Because we don't like to keep it like that, we delete all items and just keep 1, we have non level requirement white and grey gear, or random gear that has nice Flavor Text, we have toys, items with flavor text and grey "Everyday Human Life" items... Like the Pipe for the rich, or the Empty tobacco pouch and **** like that. I will post everything again at the same price right now, whisper me if you want something. Don't send me Forum PM or In-Game mail. Whisper me in the ear.
Edit: BTW: We have 1 tab that is starting to get In-Game letters from players, not from NPCs, in Deathwing we have an awesome collection of really weird letters, but **** deathwing. Anyways... let me log in.Edited: January 10, 2016
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Member
Too bad the queue was full early. Goddamn weekends
I can relate to that experience in Goldshire. This is taken from Frostwolf, where Goldshire is gloriously busy
....thankfully I can restrain myself from Obliterating this human out of existence. Fools....
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Member
Friends are indeed supposed to share both good and bad experiences and now, seeing how you too got molested by naked people with sophisticated names like "Xxaslicker", we are one step closer to becoming soulmates.
What.
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Banned
I will put the items on the Auctions House again, soon. The prices are not open to discussion. Different prices have different value for different people. To me, Shadowmourne has no value. And the Elwynn Sheep pet costs 1K to 5K Gold.
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Member
Eh no, the guy on the right is just bystander. Then again, I just got called cute twice again in Frostwolf
I did not just hear someone considering to sell a Legendary soul-devouring weapon in an auction house did I?
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