1) Sets of totems are not that important, more important is to use the right totems for your group.
Earth:
If you are missing armor aura use armor totem.
If you are missing dk horn and have armor aura use agi+str one.
Have tremor totem binded for times where you can get feared.
Fire:
Spellpower totem, unless you have ele shaman/demo lock in group.
Have frost resist prepared for marrow/lady/...
Water:
Manaspring if you are missing GBOW, otherwise Healing stream (if you have 2 shamans, then 1 of you can use fire resist).
Wind:
Spellhaste, unless you have 2 shamans or really strong meeles without meele haste, then windfury.
2) Earthshield is currently bugged, but its not bad to get used to use it, so you are prepared whent they repare it.
3) I find grid2 + clique really good, but kind of hard to set up.
Vuhdo or Healbot are ok alternatives.