How bad is the grind really? Some numbers for reference
This image in reference is for resto druids which will usually be leveling their aldor rep and thrallmar rep as well as getting bangle from botanica. This is also excluding weapons/rings of any sort and not including any of the items from heroics aside from bangle from Bot. https://i.imgur.com/DG0SGBi.png
In order to get your gear not including any heroic gear, you are looking at 688 total marks required.
The best case scenario if you were somehow getting instant queues, the correct bg every time and winning every bg in 10 minutes this would take about 29 hours. At 5 hours per day, this is 6 days.
The best case scenario for losing every bg would take around 86 hours if you were getting instant queues and the correct BG every time. At 5 hours per day, this is 18 days.
Realistically, BGs will go for 20-35 minutes.
Worst case scenario if you get instant queues and the correct BG every time, winning every BG at 30 minute games will take 86 hours to get your gear which is the same as losing every bg with 10 min losses so around 18 days at 5 hours per day. That is with WINNING every game.
Worst case scenario losing every game at 30 mins per game instant queues and correct bg each queue, this will take 258 hours which is 52 days of farming 5 hours per day.
People mention the bonus honor you get, but because of the insane amount of marks you have to farm the honor becomes irrelevant.
Why is the PVP server so grindy?
The key to a successful private server is large player population. Creating a grind for starter gear significantly raises the barrier to entry for all players as well as makes the server much less alt friendly. The only reasonable solutions are either:
1. Bring back the mark vendor
2. Give marks as a reward for arenas
Otherwise this server will be dead within a few weeks and warmane will wither back into irrelevance.