I logged in proud, my character grand,
A mighty hero across the land.
His name was Cats, so short, so neat,
A perfect tag, concise, elite.
Then one fine day—without a sound,
No warning bell, no reason found—
A flag appeared: Rename this soul,
Like fate had clicked the wrong control.
“Alright,” I said, “no need to fret,
I’ll rename him back—just wait, you’ll see.”
Two seconds passed. I clicked confirm.
Name already taken. …Excuse me??
Two seconds! TWO!
Was there a hawk
Refreshing names around the clock?
A goblin bot with lightning speed?
A druid camping names for greed?
I wrote a ticket, calm and nice.
Then one more, slightly less polite.
I sent an email, clear and long,
Explaining how this felt just wrong.
The GMs? Silent. Not a peep.
Support emails? Eternal sleep.
The forum post? A lonely scroll,
Unread, untouched, devoid of soul.
Half a year has drifted by,
My hope decayed, but not my cry.
For somewhere out there roams my name,
On some unknown, mysterious main.
So here I stand, renamed, displaced,
By systems cruel and timing-based.
Oh Warmane, hear my desperate plea:
I just want Cats back.
…Sincerely.