1. Staff isn't there to babysit us players. Caution is advised everywhere over the internet, how did you even got scammed out of a fully geared character?
2. No, I don't blame her. I'm telling you shouldn't share too much information over the internet. Give the information to wrong person and that happens. Bullies are to be blamed for what they do and should be sanctioned/punished accordingly. I don't condone their actions. Actions have consequences, it's not always negative actions and negative consequences. Positive actions can have negative consequences. Bullies don't even need information, they just need a target, target that they can get reaction from. If they have information, it's only adding fuel for the fire.
3. Yes. This is WoW private server with massive (too large) population, toxic players are among them. Thought you would've figured it out already. So to punish said toxic players, Warmane has introduced ninja (and other) rules as countermeasures. You went and broke a rule, and now complain about ban and ban appeal times. Though your ban was justified. Do you want the rules to be enforced, or not, or does it depend on how they benefit you?
How to gear OS? Well do quests, buy gear from vendors/AH, or even craft. Then queue to RDF in your OS gear, spec and role. Or do like many others, don't gear your OS until your MS is ICC ready and raiding. Do ToC10/25, Ony10/25/FoS, PoS & HoR premades, where MS change is allowed, and roll for OS gear.
Such a shame ban inconvenienced your playtime for five days. Did you learn anything from it?