Orphic, Yes, I guess you could say that. I would definitely expect more from you guys than most other people on the forum.. or the internet. I'm completely comfortable discussing this, that is.. until I read Jyx's comment up above.
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Field Medic Moderator
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Member
Ah, let's not think about that. Sex is actually not even on my top 3 desires of what to get out of a relationship.
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Banned
Is that Seattle beach house still number one?~
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Forum Veteran
Sex is important with me but I'll never push it onto someone. If my girlfriend or the girl I'm dating doesn't want to. Whatever, that's fine. But if she NEVER wants to then I may have to end the relationship unless if she goes beyond my standards lol.
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Member
that's our thing Shiina, not my potential partner's
Someone I can cuddle with is one of them though c:
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Banned
ftfy
i think
:x
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Forum Veteran
I'm going to throw this out there.
I am in a relationship with a disabled person, he cannot preform like that, and I've learnt to live with it, yes I find it hard sometimes but there are many ways to deal with it.
If I were to be single, It would probably be the first thing on my mind honestly. IDK if it's just because I have tasted the sweet nectar that is sex. But yes, there would be some sexual incline towards the outcome of said date. I'm not one to just throw myself at someone, I'm far too damaged to do that, there is giant trust issues around that. But if I were to feel comfortable after say 3-4 dates then yes.
So this is something that happened IRL just to show you an example.
I started talking to this guy, he was really nice, we hit it off. Yes in my head I was thinking about all the things I wanted to do to him, but not in a sheer pleasurable arousal moment. I'm not a fan of having sex with a guy I like to be purely sex, there needs to be a connection.
This has to be #2 on my list.
Number #1 being "someone to share my life and start a family with"
Number #3 is to treat me as an equal, not more or less that they are.
@Grace, sorry about my last post it was meant as a joke to cheer Orphic up.
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Field Medic Moderator
@Orphic, You'll definitely want to be careful how you touch your girlfriend then. Many of the sensitive spots can and will turn her on and may affect her judgment. I've had a problem like that in the past. I almost consented... but managed to come to my senses and noped out of it. It's like a drug, I tell you.
You and me would never work out in that case.
Also, all these posts at the same time, jeez.
Jyx, I'm a cripple (kinda). I have a hard time getting around, but when I like someone enough, I will still try hard to please them. I also don't know about the so-called "sweet nectar". I've had a small bit of experience, and it wasn't pleasant. Honestly speaking, with the number of ways I've found that I can be aroused without even considering bothering with sex, I don't think I'll even care about it for many years yet. I'll explore everything else first. As things stand now, I can live completely off of foreplay.
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Forum Veteran
Yeah, and that must be devastating for since you know...I'm gods gift to women and all :|.
Jokes aside. It's good to know what you want and don't want in a relationship. Make's it easier for the other person and it doesn't put any pressure on you.
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Member
._.
Lucas is a nice guy. :\
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Member
Well about women viewing men as creatures who derive their sex appeal from cockiness and pride, I would say that it's true for most men. But honestly, I have a feeling (maybe im wrong) that women do find it attractive even if they find it inattractive at the same time. Perhaps the reason women find that trait in men hateful, is because when men are like that, being inconsiderate towards women's feelings is also included in that trait. So idk...if men weren't like that, how else would their personality be? Roughness has been in man's blood, ever since the beginning of humanity. I wouldn't say we are insensitive because it wouldn't be true. We are sensitive, but we just hide it from the vast majority of people in most of our lives. FYI, men recieve emotional pain way more sensitively than women. I think women can handle the "everyday" emotional pressure quite more flexibly than men. Perhaps that is why we try to bury whatever that makes us sensitive because we think that might ease the pain.
I don't speak for myself in the majority of what I said, nor do I really count myself among those cocky/proud sex-appealers.
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Forum Veteran
Hey, it helps with your self esteem lol. I must label myself a god. I MUST.
And from what i noticed. Is that women will sit there and analyze everything. If my gf asked, "what's wrong?" And I said, "nothing". I know for a FACT that she would go home and just over think it and freak the **** out lol. And everything you say or do that is hurtful or loving. They will remember.
My gf and I just recently got back together and we were broken up for two years and she remembers every little thing I have done. She remembers all of the nice things and all of the bad. She remembers them as if it happened yesterday. And it still affects her to some extent.
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Forum Veteran
I have a better sex like with my shower head than my partner... Sad moment.
Anyway it's 2.30am, I need to sleep. GN People, really enjoyed the proper talk, nice to have one everyone now and then.
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Member
That's not even remotely okay.
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Field Medic Moderator
Medios, I can understand that guys can have a hard time seperating confidence and aggression. Confidence doesn't mean that you aren't afraid to approach a girl and put the moves to her. Confidence is that you don't doubt yourself, and you are willing to express yourself and be yourself, show the woman who you really are instead of put on a mask. Do you know the term "Gentle Giant"? The term is an embodiment of strength and power, but kind, caring, gentle and sensitive at the same time.
Also, when I say I find men insensitive, I don't mean that they aren't sensitive. I mean that as an observation on how they act (as if they don't give a flying **** about how I feel). Trust me when I tell you that it is OKAY to share with us how you feel. If you are bothered by something, you can let us know. It is OKAY. By doing so, you will set yourself apart from the stereotypical "confident male" and you'll find yourself being welcomed into female social circles that you normally would've been alienated from.
I understand the need to appear strong, particularly in the presence of other males who feel competitive against you, but your emotional vulnerability hardly factors into how I would think of you.
In those sorts of situations, it helps to reassure her that nothing is wrong and everything is okay. Perhaps add in a "I love you" if it is okay given the situation. If you don't already do this, I can tell you that it will help. I'm almost absolutely certain of it.
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