Oh DESIRE! I miss him.
If you say so. I feel indifferent about it. I mean, everyone has their own lives, and this is just how mine is. Don't get me wrong, I've had relationships. Plenty of them. In fact, I've had enough bad ones to make me think that no relationship is just the way I was intended to live my life. I've had enough of the jealousy, distrust and abuse. I've been happier the last (almost) two years of my life than I had been the seven years prior to that.
I'm definitely not looking for a new one, but if it just so happens to feel right, then I'll consider it. I don't want to be alone, definitely. That's the last thing I want. But at the same time, I'm afraid of how things may turn out, that it may just be "Horrible Relationship #6". The truth is, despite all the relationships I've been, I can't say I've felt any real attraction to those individuals than I have anyone else. Did I love them? Of course I did, but I also feel like I love everyone around me. I want to help everyone and care for all of them. Trouble is, I also feel that I am completely incapable of truly loving any on singular person to a greater extent than anyone else, to an extent that they might deserve.